Blurred Lines

As Christ followers, we are called to a higher standard of living. A lot of believers struggle with this issue, because of our lack of understanding the how and the why behind God's higher standards for us. Remember, we are called to be in the world, but not of the world. There has to be a clear difference between the life of a believer and a non-believer. The lines can not be blurred. So, the issue I would like to discuss is sex. First, let me say that I am in no way writing this to condemn or judge anyone. I am writing that everyone would know the truth on the matter, and we know truth sets people free.

1 Corinthians 6:17-19 (Amplified Bible)

¹⁷ But the person who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him.

¹⁸ Shun immorality and all sexual looseness [flee from impurity in thought, word, or deed]. Any other sin which a man commits is one outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.

¹⁹ Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own.

 God created us and He created sex. There are 3 reasons why He created sex.

1. To procreate - In the book of Genesis, Adam and Eve were commanded to be fruitful and multiply.
2. To unite husband and wife - This is the consummation of two people becoming one. See Matthew 19:5.
3. For enjoyment - In the Song of Solomon we are given a passionate picture of this union, as the King's bride declares "I am his and he is mine." 

Sex is God's gift to a husband and wife. Think of it as a gift that you wait until Christmas morning to open. If you try to sneak a peak at your gift in advance, it's not as great on Christmas morning. You may even feel a little guilty that you opened the present before it was time. This is all for a reason. If you read the Song of Solomon, you will notice the woman gives advice to the Daughters of Jerusalem to not wake love before it's time. She is encouraging her sisters to wait for marriage.

The key reason for this is because sex is not just a casual act for the fun of it. It is the consummation of a covenant relationship. Have you ever super-glued your fingers together by accident? You have bonded your fingers together. What happens when you pull them apart? Well, it hurts of course. Have you ever looked closer? If you have, you'd notice that part of your skin from one finger is now on the other and vice verse.

This is what happens when we wake love before it's time and the relationship ends. Whether it's a one night stand or a serious relationship, the pain is horrible emotionally, psychologically, mentally, and spiritually. This is because a covenant was made with the act of sex, and covenants are not meant to be broken.

A covenant is hard for us to truly understand in our Western culture. In ancient times a covenant was known as a blood covenant, which was a binding agreement, where a blood sacrifice sealed the deal. It was more powerful than a contract or agreement, as it was to last the life span of those making it. Therefore, it was considered holy and sacred. To break the covenant meant death to the persons breaking it.

So, aside from the emotional hurt of the loss of the relationship, there is now guilt. You feel dead inside. You feel like part of you is missing. All of this is because a covenant was made and then broken. So, there is a type of death that occurs. You feel like part of you is missing, because it is. You became one with that person. Essentially, you gave yourself away. Remember the Song of Solomon, "I am his and he is mine." "Two became one flesh." Now, they are separated. Part of you is gone and now belongs to the other person.

This is why we are warned not to wake love before it's time. The results of breaking this covenant are beyond devastating. With each covenant that is made and broken, you lose more of yourself, because you are giving pieces of yourself away that you can not get back. If this is done often, one becomes desensitized and numb to the conviction of the Holy Spirit. This is a very dangerous place to be.

God set up boundaries concerning sex and marriage to protect us from all of this hurt, guilt, and heartache. He set clear lines not to be crossed. This is not because He wants to take the fun out of life. Not at all. God made sex an enjoyable thing for humans. Think about it. He could have made us like some of the animals, where the female lays eggs and the male fertilizes the eggs without either one coming together. How boring is that? Nope, God made sex enjoyable, because He is an awesome God who cares about relationship.

Still with me? Don't tune me out. Remember, I want to educate you on the how and the why, so that you know the truth and can be freed by it. Trust me, it will help you to stand strong in a culture that runs rampant with sexual immorality. You need to know that you can overcome temptation. You are not an animal. You were made in the image of God, and He has given believers the spirit of self control. He will even help you in the midst of the temptation.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (God's Word translation) 

There isn’t any temptation that you have experienced which is unusual for humans. God, who faithfully keeps his promises, will not allow you to be tempted beyond your power to resist. But when you are tempted, he will also give you the ability to endure the temptation as your way of escape.   

You may be saying, that's great news, but I've already awakened love before it's time. So now what? Am I condemned to hell? The answer is no. However, you do need to confess your sin to the Lord and ask Him to forgive you and to strengthen you to live for Him, according to His way from this point forward, until you are married. He will help you, if you truly want His help and you want to live for Him in all your ways.

There is one other thing you may have not even thought about. Jesus has the ability to make all things new. All things means all things, even this thing. Now that you know sex is about making a covenant with someone that is not meant to be broken because you lose pieces of yourself, you should know that God can restore those lost parts of you that you gave away. So, when you pray, ask Him to do this too. If you have an STD, as a result of waking love before it's time, you can also ask God to heal this. He is our Healer and you can pray for this too. You might want to pray something like this:

God, I am sorry that I had sex outside of marriage. I know now that you intended for it to be a passionate gift to make a husband and wife into one flesh. I confess my sin to you now. Please forgive me. I understand that I gave myself away to someone that was not my spouse. Please forgive me for this Lord and restore those pieces of myself that I gave away, so that I may present my whole self to my future spouse when we are married. I also release the pieces of the people that I have had sex with outside of marriage. Please restore them, so that they may present their whole self to their future spouse when they are married. Heal my body, spirit, and soul (which is my mind, will, and emotions) completely. Help me to live as you have commanded me to. I want to honor you in all of my ways, including sex. I ask you to guard and protect my sexuality, so that I may not wake love before it's time. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Thank you Lord for healing me, restoring me, and for making me new. Amen.

Lastly, I want to encourage you. I believe in practicing what I preach. I am waiting for marriage. I determined long ago to save myself for my husband, so that I could present my whole self to him once we are married. So, it can be done. I am a living testimony of this. So, be encouraged, stay strong, and do not wake love before it's time.